Friday, June 7, 2013

A Little Lost

That's how I'm feeling today, a little lost.  You see, back last summer, I saw a little 2 year old blond haired, sweet, little, special needs girl on an adoption photolisting and couldn't get her out of my mind.  She had to walk with a walker and she couldn't speak, but somehow I distinctly felt God pushing me to open up my heart to adopting a child that needed us.  One that nobody else wanted.  Every excuse I could come up with, God would bring to mind a verse, a song, something I'd said in the past, to contradict my excuses.

Andy agreed that God wanted us to be doing more for Him than we were doing.  So back last August we signed up for the 10 weeks of classes you have to take to do foster care or adopt through the state.  We got those done in November and started getting our house ready to be licensed for foster care.  Although as we began that process, we felt that adoption was more our thing than foster care was, so we decided to adopt a waiting child instead of doing foster care.

After all, there are more than 800 children waiting to be adopted in our state alone- such a big need!  I spent lots of time pouring over the photolistings, deciding which child might fit best in our family.  We chose a state agency to do our homestudy, and they finally finished it up in May.  Now we were ready!

We found several options of children that might work in our family, but one by one they were put aside as our social worker recommended which ones she felt would work out best.  Finally, we submitted our homestudy for 2 situations, one was 2 sisters and one was an 8 year old girl.  Now yesterday, we found out that the 8 year old girl had an aunt show up all of a sudden who might want her, and the 2 sisters had 20 homestudies submitted for them, and their social workers decided that our family would not be the best for them.  Twenty homestudies?  Something is not adding up.

I guess these kids are wanted.  Which is a great thing- don't get me wrong- but I feel a little lost, like what do we do now?  Do we need to change something, shift our focus, just wait, submit our homestudy for someone else?  We don't know. 

BUT- thankfully God does know!  We can be completely at rest knowing that he will lead and guide us to the right child- he has done it before!  One step at a time- I just need to relax and watch him work.  And maybe get another cup of coffee...

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 31:24

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